Mistake of Light
by Tea.T
Summary: Yaoi. HisokaTsuzuki. Tsuzuki is a being treated like nothing but worth more than anything. He suffers from Muraki's schemes. The only one who seems to be able to lift the pain is Hisoka, but does Hisoka love the man?
1. Doctor

Disclaimer: Descendants of Darkness is not mine. I'm not brilliant enough to create such work, but I can did to the following.**  
**

**Mistake of Light**

Chapter One: I don't want to see the Doctor

I am so afraid, so frightened. I fear what is to come and what will become of me. I am disturbed, disgusted. Muraki, that man haunts me. I still don't know what he wants from me. All those innocents he killed, was it because of me? I like to think that it would be thinking too highly of myself, that it wasn't for me, but Muraki said it himself. Every clue he leaves behind leads me to him. He does this purposely. Now, I'm apprehensive. I don't want to take up any missions in fear of meeting him. I don't want to see that man. He makes me feel like the darkness itself is engulfing me. I am extremely uncomfortable near him. He chokes me. And when he touches me, I shiver, because I feel cold even though strangely his hands are warm (I have thought many times how truly strange that is, his hands are warm, but his heart is cold). I don't even want to be in the same state as him. I hate him! I don't want to see him!

"Tsuzuki?" I look up. "You alright?" I see a worried expression, and I realize that I have curled up in the corner of my room.

"I'm ok," I say with undeniable sad eyes.

"Then why aren't you out there eating the desserts I bought?" he questions calm and slow, his voice normal, though I often think its low and deep tone unfitting for him, but I've become familiar to hearing that same voice in my dreams.

"I'm there!" I suddenly leap up from my retreat and is smiling. Somehow food seems to cheer me (but I can't say it always will). Maybe it's because before I finally died I ate and drank nothing for eight years. Maybe...but then I think I've always like food. Can't live without it!

"Tsuzuki?" I look at him, needing to look down to fully see his pale face and brilliant green eyes. "You weren't thinking about Muraki, were you?"

I shift my eyes away almost ashamed to tell my partner, my friend, the truth. The truth is that I always think about Muraki, whenever I have time, at least once a day. I'm not afraid that he'll think of me as a coward (I know I am anyways). But I'm afraid of losing him; I'm terrified by the idea of not having him with me, shunning me because of what I am, like the rest of society.

From the moment Hisoka and I became partners I knew that he is important to me. I know not why but I need him. I feel as if he is the one who saves me, who can save me.

I also care for him deeply. Even though he can be somewhat harsh to me I have already gotten used to him, that it'll be impossible to live any other way, impossible to live without Hisoka... Am I exaggerating? Maybe I am...

"Tsuzuki, would you stop dazing off?"

By habit, I scratch my head. "Sorry."

"Plus, if you stand here any longer, all the food will be gone."

I look at him with my strange violet eyes, knowing full well that they seem larger and pleading. This is a habit too.

I can hear him sigh like he does all the time when he is annoyed or exasperated with me (I hear it a lot). Then he proceeds to leave me, walking out the door with a shake of his head. But I follow him, my invisible talk wagging back and forth. Sure, I look childish, but being a child is the only time I can smile and feel happiness.

-End chapter- I want my sweets...


	2. A Partner, A Friend

**Mistake of Light**

Chapter Two: I am to him a partner, he is to me a friend

Today is awfully quiet. I'm not sure it is a good thing or not. After all, this may all be the calm before the storm. I hope that this isn't the case. I love this peace, it makes me feel relaxed but then I'm reminded that nothing ever lasts.

I look up. Same cherry blossoms that bloom everyday. Spoiled, we are, like Tatsumi-san said. It's beautiful but in thinking I realize that it is its fleeting nature that makes them beautiful just like everything else. Is this what Muraki thinks?

NO! I'm reminded of him again! I don't want to think about him! NO!

I can picture him laughing at me now. A man such as me does not deserve to be called a man. Then again, I'm not even human. I'm not human...

"Tsuzuki,' I look up. "You only flatter him by thinking about him so much," comes a harsher, lower tone.

"Hisoka," I say, looking up (I don't want to get up from my seat) at my partner, "Thank you."

"For what?" he looks away from me.

"For reminding me every time," I state simply.

"It's nothing," he replies short.

"No, really..." I look back up at the falling blossoms. "I don't know what I'd do without you." I'm sure I meant what I said but I wonder if Hisoka believes me. From time to time, I may fall into darkness, but I am brought back. Maybe instead of thinking about Muraki and his horrifying aura I should concentrate on Hisoka, my best friend, a friend I know I depend on and cannot live without.

"Idiot." I do an anime fall flat on the ground. "It's my job as your partner to look after you." I look up at this boy (he was only 16 when he died), marveling how rash and brusque he can be when trying to comfort someone. But it's ok, because I know he only means to do me good. I can never expect Hisoka to treat me otherwise... However...it would be nice though...

"Hisoka." He turns his head slightly to see my smile. "I'm hungry now," I say louder and bolder.

"Figures," he only comments, taking his steps away from me.

"Hey! Wait!" I exclaim, following after him, chasing him. But if I have to chase after him to get to him I will. I'll make sure to do everything I can to catch up to him. I don't want to let him slip away form me. Behind him, beside him, as long as I can be near him.

-End chapter two- I better start running!


	3. At Night

Mistake of Light

Chapter Three: Keep the door closed and lights on at night

I keep having these dreams lately, dreams that are most unpleasant. Maybe they're not dreams, they're nightmares. They're one of the many things troubling me now, but it doesn't change really, I am still thinking about Muraki. Muraki is the one in my dreams. AHH! How I want to scream! How I want to strangle that man!

In my dreams, he does things to me in which I cannot get out of my head. I don't want to remember but I can't forget. The way he makes my body shiver with complete fear. The painful fire that develops when he speaks into my ear, whispering devilish words of all the things he wants to do to me. And how he makes me think I would rather die than to be taken by him. My heart shatters when he runs his hands down my chest, those hands that are strangely warm. Everywhere, every part of me, I can't escape from him. I can't walk away, run away; I can't even take my mind away. Terrorizing me with his laughs that ring from my ears down to my spine. I would kill myself if I had the chance.

But what I fear the most is not what happens in the dream but the end of the dream. Every time, he takes me and I can't get away. I struggle but it is as to him that I'm not moving. Then a horrifying image plays across my vision with Hisoka's face, a disconcerting face. I see him turning his back on me, and with a silent scream I am made to come back to reality with the pain piercing my heart. Panting, I would fear because I remember every aspect of the dream as if it was true, as if it just happened. Holding myself, as if to keep myself together, I would tell myself that it wasn't real, that it will not happen. And then for the rest of the night, I wouldn't be able to sleep; I would just keep thinking and wouldn't stop. I would usually feel hot and cold, wrapping the covers around me for security.

The more I think the more I feel like I'm reliving the experience. Sometimes tears run down my face at recalling the pain and most of all Hisoka's face disregarding me.

Hisoka...how much pain did he suffer from Muraki? I would like to do anything to make his pain go away, to take his pain; I wouldn't mind suffering for him. My heart constricts at the thought of how Muraki tortured him. For many dying people and the dead I feel sympathy. For Hisoka, I can only say it's more since I love him so. I do love him, and I'll protect him; that will not change. And if I can protect him, there is a chance that he will stay with me.

-End chapter three- My only hope is that he doesn't leave me...

* * *

I don't know why these chapters are so short, usually I have a lot of say like my other fics. This one's the shortest. I don't get it really. I hope the next chapter is longer; I have a feeling that it might...  



	4. Does He Know?

**Mistake of Light**

Chapter Four: Does he know?

"Time to dig in!" I exclaim with a half a talk laid out with desserts and my irritated partner next to me.

"How do you not get fat from those?" I hear the low-toned retort.

I glance at him with a pout, the fork upon my lips, my eyes glittering with pretend tears. He sighs and I ask him, "Do you want some? Strawberry Shortcake? Castella? Chocolate pudding? Apple Danish? I even have green tea ice cream (yummy)..."

He looks away. "Agh...I'm getting sick just listening to it."

"Aww..." I try, "Come on, try the green tea ice cream. It's sooooo good, and not that sweet either."

"You're sweet enough," All I hear is sweet.

"Huh?" I inquire to which I receive nothing. But I consider it nothing. I take no pause to dig my spoon into the creamy green dessert and put it in my mouth. It brings upon me a shiver but I enjoy the cold already melting on my tongue. Delicious...

I look back at my partner and smile because I know that when I smile others will not worry about me and sometimes they may even smile back at me. I want...at least I think I want...to see Hisoka smile at me.

But I am only a little disappointed when he doesn't, instead claiming himself a chair and turns his head to the window of falling pink blossoms, his chin resting on his hand. I muse for a moment at how completely youthful this boy, whom I call my partner, is. He is such an attractive boy too with soft pale skin, transparent emerald eyes, an intricate pair of lips, shady brown hair, and a matching nose; how absolutely stunning. Is it possible for a guy to look so beautiful?

I am suddenly reminded that I am staring at him when he softly scolds, "What is it?"

I smile nervously. "Nothing."

"If you've forgotten, let me remind you that I can sense your feelings," he states coolly.

I grimace. Oh no! I forgot! Does he know?

But Hisoka doesn't give any indications to my question. He looks unmoved. "Now, hurry up and eat. We need to get back to work soon."

I nod obediently and put some food into my mouth but I can't concentrate on how good it tastes because I cannot take my mind off of the one next to me.

Does he know that I feel _that_ way about him? Is he disgusted with me? What am I supposed to do if Hisoka rejects me?

I then sense him stare at me. I continue to eat nervously, avoiding eye contact.

-End Chapter Four- Eat, just keep eating, don't look at him...


End file.
